#niadiaries vol. 3 – blackout day & self-acceptance

It’s raining again. I always get into this melodramatic mood whenever I’m stuck in the house during a rainy day. It’s like I’m in an Usher music video or something. But, I digress.

Things didn’t necessarily work out with the whole possible job thing. I was upset about it, but I’m going to keep finessing and do my best to keep my spirits up. Dad says that I should spend this time of unemployment diving into things that I love. Write a novel. Start a movement. Make a Twitch account.

He’s right. Maybe I’ll be able to write the next great American novel. I always have all these story ideas rattling around in my head. I’ll never know their true destiny if I don’t put pencil to paper (or in this case fingers to keyboard). The last time I wrote a book was back in high school during NaNoWriMo. I still have a copy of it in my Google Drive, but boy is it trash. I’d like to think that I’ve gotten better at writing since then. I think I’m going to try and put something new together. Slowly, but surely something will come to fruition. Isn’t the beauty of this transitional period the journey, and not the destination?

Today’s Blackout Day. I remember the first Blackout Day back in 2015, and I remember being so captivated by the sheer mass of love and acceptance of blackness on the internet. It was like that day brought us altogether some how, or maybe it just brought me into something that was already prevalent. I’m in a better headspace now, where I can witness the talent of beautiful black people every day. It has brought a better sense of community across social media, and I’m proud to be a part of it.

I’ve slowly been growing into my blackness ever since I was a child. I think that when I decided to go natural my senior year of high-school that was truly the beginning of me becoming more than just a physical manifestation of what I perceived to be “right” and “beautiful”. I was choosing to accept myself in a world that shuns every fiber of my being. If that ain’t the biggest middle finger you can give to the world, then I don’t know what is. And trust me, sometimes you just got to flip the bird. Or a blurry ass peace sign.

Because of this self-acceptance, I have incidentally surrounded myself with better friends and I feel as though I have a deeper relationship with my family members. For all those that have kept a connection with me throughout this process, I have all the respect for you. I admire your patience. I’m still trying to gather that same patience now.

But, I will get that job. I will build my brand. I will secure the bag.

Just like DJ Khaled taught me to do.

love, Nia Simone


13 thoughts on “#niadiaries vol. 3 – blackout day & self-acceptance

  1. Yaas girl this is great! I also went natural my senior year of high school, well technically the summer before lol. But boy is this a journey! I wish you love, blessings, growth, and success on the rest of your journey!

  2. I love this. Thanks for sharing. I kove finding black girls who remind me of myself. I’ve always known they existed I just can never find them

  3. I love the authenticity you have going on here. I have a very tough time going natural because of society’s “rules” about how women’s hair should look. I have extremely frizzy, curly, thick, and course hair. Most days I am throwing it up in a bun because in this humidity there is no reason for me to bother trying haha. Excellent reminder to screw society and be who we are!

  4. Really enjoyed your short story here. I like that you explained how you grew to embrace the parts that make you who you are. I also love the pictures you included. Keep at it and listen to your dad: do what you enjoy.

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